trust

Self Help

Who can you trust? This question is at the heart of many problems and especially matters of confidence.

Have you ever had stage fright? Most people have experienced it at some time or another. Its a form of performance problem caused by not trusting yourself to speak the way you want. Fear or rather anxiety of having to speak in public may well stem from experience of the performance problem or it may be just imagined. Exam nerves are a similar thing. Most men have experienced a performance problem when standing next to other men at the Urinal. There are bigger problems caused by not trusting oneself, that's why some people become really ill. We won't elaborate further because you know that you now want to trust yourself if only to read this sentence and understand that you can do that, can't you. If you have real difficulties with this it may take professional help to make sure that "You really can trust yourself whenever you need to be self reliant."

So what about trusting others? It is easy to have problems with trusting other people. Find a person who has never been let down, I challenge you. The thing is how do you think about trusting other people. It is no good trusting yourself, if you aren't in a position to do something you need doing. Remember "Even if you are rightly self reliant much of the time, there are times when everyone needs some help, and other times when help is worth enjoying." So how do you trust others wisely?

For a minority of people all the time and some people occasionally, perhaps you now, I say "Trust yourself to know unconsciously and decide now". For others, more likely you, who likes the relevant information and to work it through logically, here are some good rules to bear in mind.

Think about how much you need the help
Think about the consequence of not getting the help
Think about your alternative options (who to trust including yourself!)
Think about the experience you have with these people or organisations
Think about the promises they make and their incentives for keeping them, or not
Which options are better than not getting help?
What is the worst that can happen?
What is the best that can happen?
What is the most likely thing that will happen?
Decide who to trust and act decisively now!

You know yourself and how you trust, or not. And if you can't trust anyone, or you find it hard to trust anyone, you have a real problem and should seek help, though to do this you will have to trust someone, and I can remember hearing from a down to earth sort of person in a similar situation that you "Begin by trusting yourself". Then you can trust us, or not. It doesn't matter, we can help you even if you are confused about whether you can trust us. We will give you money back if you really aren't satisfied in the end. Thats a promise as long as you tell us that this is your problem when we agree to work with you. If you don't believe our promise, then you can always try to find someone else, you wouldn't believe us if we told you who to trust so you must "trust yourself to know".

NLP, Hypnotherapy and TimeLineTherapy^TM are good for enabling people to deal with the emotions associated with past experiences, and can enable people, maybe you, to get past the emotion of being let down, and begin the process of trusting wisely, unconsciously or consciously as you like it.

© Dr's A.T. and J. Small 2003 The authors give permission for this to be reproduced only for personal use, and not for commercial gain, and when reproduced it shall be legal if it includes this copyright notice. Permission to reproduce for commercial gain is easy to obtain and at a reasonable rate. Please contact the authors via change.TOGAIN (+44) (0)845 644 1098. It is better to save your energy for the next challenge rather than reinvent this wheel.

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